Kamu yang Sejak Februari Ada di Kepalaku

"Dia itu keren lho.."

"Kalau aku maunya kamu, gimana?"

"......."

Seperti kepalaku penuh oleh namamu.
bukan tentangmu apalagi kenangan bersamamu.
Contohnya saja saat ini,
aku sedang duduk manis terhalang satu baris kursi dari pak dosen,
tapi malah sibuk menjadikanmu inspirasi.
Kalau disebut cinta, aku tahu ini bukan.
Lalu apa?

Kagum. Aku tahu itu juga bukan.

Masih Tentang Kupu-Kupu Nomer 8

Pernah ada seorang lelaki. Kupu-kupu nomer delapan.

Baik hati dan rupanya.

Taat  beragama dari tingkah lakunya.

Namun ia melangkah tergesa-gesa.

Mungkin karena ia belum tahu sebaiknya bagaimana.

Jika aku dan dia sampai bersama, akulah yang akan jadi pusatnya.

Apa-apa tentang aku. Semua-mua harus aku yang bahagia.

Aku takut, justru aku akan menyerap semua energi

dan menghambat lajunya.

Komitmen itu bukannya tentang keseimbangan?

Yasudah, aku tinggal pergi saja dia.

Jadi Power Ranger Buat Kamu

Aku mau menulis tentang kamu. Tapi aku baru tahu satu dua hal tentangmu.
Aku harus jadi lebih berani dari power ranger untuk tahu lebih banyak lagi.

Masalahnya, aku tidak tahu bagaimana menjadi power ranger.

Midnitemad

Aku sedang tidak enak badan. Sedang tidak bahagia. Ditambah sedang tidak bisa tidur.

Aku banyak berpikir akhir-akhir ini, kenapa aku tidak bahagia?
Mungkin karena aku tidak mempercayai siapapun. Semua aku simpan sendiri. Mengurangi resiko sakit hati nantinya.

Tapi lama-lama jadi pusing sendiri. Mau ini itu jadi serba malas. Maunya tidur terus saja, skip jam-jam kosong kesendirian.

Orang bilang aku banyak cakap. Heboh sendiri. Kebanyakan cengar-cengir.
Coba aku bisa merunut dengan lebih rapi yang ada di kepala, mungkin gak banyak orang akan terluka gara-gara mulut tajamku.

Aku sedang rapuh, pasti gara-gara kebanyakan nonton drama korea.

Tuh kan, aku mulai nyalahin orang lain.

The Thing about Being Alone

What's a problem with being alone?
I mean, look, i'm not gonna start a argumentation here, sooo please sit down and hear my story.

Today is friday, like the other days in the week, it's a lazy day. You get the logic point in there? Good.
I was hanging around doing nothing in my room, then I started to starving. Do not want to abuse my body, I went out. It's quite a problem for me to find a place to eat, but i decided to went in this mall.

So, there was me, sat on the sushi corner that i will never sit in there anymore, watching the people.
It's a lot of them and nobody's alone. There these cute couple, gossiping girls, family went to dinner and bla bla bla. If you were there, you will see one particular girl who sit alone, wears red jacket and seems get lost.

Yes, it's me. Am I get lost?
Here's the thing.

I'm not afraid being alone, you know. Eat alone, watch a movie or performance alone, shop alone, sit alone, walk to toilet alone and other activity that can be done by single mode.
Sometimes I wonder, why people here thinks that "alone" is a pathetic stuff. Like, you can be seen walk or sit alone because the people would think you have no friend. Furthermore, analyse the characteristic of the most people, they will start to talk behind you. Euw, they are the pathetic one.

Let me tell you a secret.
Try to enjoy yourself. Have fun with yourself.
Or Yoda will say, Do- don't try.
We was born alone and will be buried alone. So why so scared?

When you alone, you can think more about yourself.
Well, to be honest, it's what I need now. More thinking.
I have friends, but I choose to not be accompany.
Specially, when I need space only for me.



ps:
Every single person is unique.
You know how to make yourself happy ;)

Butterfly Number Eight

A friend of mine told me about the theory of butterfly.
Butterfly, a creature of improvement. Once it's an ugly caterpillar, then it's wrapped into a cocoon, and in the final stage it's transfrom into dazzling butterfly.

Some guy are caterpillars. Some guy are cocoons. Some guy are butterfly.

From one to ten level, you are butterfly number eight.
The higher the number, the closer it is to your ideal type of a dream life partner.

Never met someone seems almost perfect just like you. From our countable meeting, i only knew one and two things about you. But i heard that you're already fall for me. And it's quite strange for me.

How the feeling works is unquestionably complicated, my friend. I had some experiences deal with it.
I know how it's feel to meet someone and you want to spend a time just to share your thought.
The one that you care the most.
The one who accompany you in difficult time.
The one who you want to see its smile.
The one you can run to.
The one who can break your heart into pieces and ruin your daily mood.

You are so nice and so sweet, but you are the type of a friend i can break your heart.
Before it's going deep between us, i'm sorry i have to stop it.

I'm a coward, indeed. And i owe you million apologize because of this.

Sorry for my bad treated.
Sorry for took a time just to say this.
Sorry for being a bad friend.

I could not explain more, during the time i hope you will understand and forgive me.

Be happy.

Ahoi!

Well, hello folks! How's life?
Mine is mess, just like usual. Haha
It's been a while since i neglect my blog, then i start to miss it.

So much happened.
Happiness, sadness, madness, cleverness, stupidity, new hope, new chances, new people.

Life goes on anyway, no matter what happen.

For the start of regular-post-believe-me-i'm-trying, this is me and what i did last weekend..

Happy day on going~~